Bullies ― including in-family bullies ― called on their behavior will often complain that their targets “need a sense of humor” or “should learn to take a joke.” In fact, it’s usually the bully, not the target, who lacks a good sense of humor.
The next time you observe bullying, glance away from the bully and the bullied to look at the bystanders. Notice how they’re not laughing? There may or may not be a few co-bullies giggling along with the primary bully, but if so, it’s always the same crew. Bystanders who aren’t participating are never amused … and if the bully were doing something genuinely funny, they would be.
The bystanders don’t care enough to stand up and help the target, but they don’t laugh. That’s because nothing humorous is happening.
The bully thinks the bullying is “funny” because the bully is having fun, but the bully’s enjoyment is coming from malice, not humor.
However, the bully doesn’t understand this. The bully thinks that there is some sort of humor in taunting and jeering at innocent targets ― which implies that the bully has no real sense of humor for comparison.